Hyperness Doesn't Hurt Much!
by Andra-chan
Summary: Hiei and Kurama get very hyper. They go to people's houses and do strange things... AND I'M THERE THROUGH IT ALL! For you, AnimeTrekkie! So that you can get a good laugh! And for Oni! I hope I'm not giving you ideas... (Evil Grin) CHP 3 LLIVESSSSSSSS
1. Kuwabara's House!

Yami: Hello everyone!

Hiei: What are you doing?

Yami: Everyone seems to love it when you are hyper, so I want to tell everyone of my very strange adventure with you!

Hiei: … We had no "adventure." You shouldn't lie to your pathetic ningen friends, baka onna.

Yami: HA! I'M TELLING KIHARU AND ONI YOU CALLED THEN HUMANS AND STUPID WOMEN! (evil laughter)

Kurama: Didn't think of that, now did you Hiei?  
Hiei: No… HN.

Yami: Now… I'll give a brief disclaimer, and then explain what Yami is going to look like. She'll be in it, mainly as a narrator and she's going to have been with Hiei and Kurama when they go insane!

Kurama: What? ME TOO?

Yami: YEUP!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho… So says my mom, dad, lawyers, brother, and sisters. My friends said I could own Yu Yu Hakusho as long as I started giving bisshies… AnimeTrekkie! You get Kuwabara! Kiharu and Hyo can fight over Hiei! WHO WANTS YUSUKE? JIN? TOUYA? RANDO? C'mon people! Kurama's mine! YOUKO'S MINE TOO!

**_Yami's Description!_**

_Name:_ Yami Tenchi

_Age:_ 17…

_Hair:_ Raven black, waist, ponytail!

_Eyes:_ Blue!

_Clothes:_ Baggie black jeans, black skull t-shirt, and a black leather trench coat! (ANIMETREKKIE, YOUR MAN SKIRT!)

_Other:_ Yes, she's a demon, but that's not really all that important. She is strange… SO MUCH LIKE ME IN REAL LIFE, I KNOW!

**_ON WITH THE STORY!_**

**_Chapter One!_**

Hello all! My name is Yami Tenchi! I am a close friend of Hiei Jaganshi and Suiichi, or Kurama, Minamino! I hate Yusuke and I hate Kuwabara! Now… to the point of the story.

**_Flashback… of sorts… still in Yami's POV…_**

I was walking down the street, towards Kurama's house. Once again, he called some sort of weird meeting at his house. Doesn't bother me though… I got inside, and found just Hiei and Kurama waiting in Kurama's room.

"Hi guys! Where's Yusuke? And the ugly one?" I asked. Kurama shrugged.

"Don't know. But it's okay. Let's go. Just follow me!" Kurama said. I was a little confused, but I figured I'd wait and figure it out later. I followed both Hiei and Kurama.

Kurama took me to the grocery store. He waltzed right in and went straight to the sweets aisle.

"Kurama… are you planning to get very hyper again?" I asked. Kurama grabbed 14 packs of cookies, 84 small packs of candy, 69 boxes of popsicles. I raised an eyebrow. Hiei came back with 152 individual 2-liters of soda. I blinked at the quantity of food.

"Oh crap…" I said. We went to the checkout line, and Kurama and Hiei grabbed 694 of the candy bars in the five different checkout stations. I rolled my eyes as the lady rang them all up.

_'Poor lady…'_ I thought, watching as her arm fell asleep. After all, it was an astounding 953 items! (AN: Yes, I did the math… I LOVE CALCULATORS!)

"The total comes too… 42569318546.32 yen," she said. I almost had a heart attack. Kurama smiled sweetly at the lady (who looked to me to be about 25…).

"Oh… well… I only have 333333652.01 yen…" he said innocently. She blushed.

"It's okay… It's on the house…" she stammered. Kurama flashed her a brilliant smile, and took off with the bags.

Back at Kurama's house, I followed them upstairs into Kurama's room, and watched as they began sorting the stuff in half.

"Here… 7 packs of cookies for you, 7 for me. 42 candies for you, 42 for me. 34 popsicles for you, 34 for me, and one for Yami," Kurama sorted. I rolled my eyes.

"Why thank you…" I said sarcastically.

"76 sodas for you, 76 for me, 347 candy bars for you, and 347 candy bars for me!" Kurama finished, clearly ignoring me. I opened my package of popsicles, and gave six to Hiei and six to Kurama. They gave me their most angelic smiles.

"If anyone asks, you got them from some stranger…" I said. They nodded. Then an umbrella appeared from out of nowhere for me, and the boys dug in. They sat still for about 10 minutes once they finished. Then Hiei stood up and started singing at the top of his lungs.

"SHA RA RA BOOM DE A! HAVE YOU HAD YOURS TODAY! I HAD MINE YESTERDAY! THAT'S WHY I WALK THIS WAY!" he screamed, while taking off his cloak. Kurama picked up the phone and began pressing random numbers.

"Hello? NO… I don't know you… can I eat your socks?" Kurama asked Random Towns Person #4561346841318564635. I shrugged.

"All in a day's work…" I said. Kurama and Hiei exchanged grins and fled as fast as they could to Kuwabara's house.

Once at Kuwabara's house (yes, I did follow!), they ran into his bedroom. Kuwabara was asleep, muttering some incoherent nonsense in his sleep.

"Pink baboons…" he said, through a rather loud snore.

"NO ONE INSULTS THE PINK BABOONS!" Hiei screamed. Hiei pulled out his katana and started slashing at Kuwabara's dresser. Kurama pulled out a makeup kit that had appeared out of nowhere. He and Hiei started laughing maniacally. They put lipstick on his eyelashes, mascara up his nose, blush on his lips, eye shadow on his cheeks, and cover up on his eyes. They also cut all of his hair of, and painted a sign that said "Pigeons! Poop here!" on his now-bald head. I couldn't help but laugh. Then they went through all of his drawers.

Believe it or not, but our dear Kuwabara listens to baby talk. He had a CD on baby talk in his CD player. Hiei took it and licked it. He then proceeded to bash the CD against Kuwabara's now bald head. Kurama ran into the bathroom, filled a bucket up with warm water, and ran back into Kuwabara's room. He stuck Kuwabara's hand into the water, and waited. Hiei ran downstairs and grabbed as much healthy food (and junk food) as he could carry. He brought it upstairs.

Hiei and Kurama ate all the junk food while turning all the healthy food into some sort of smoothie without any ice cream. They then managed to get Kuwabara to open his mouth and they dumped it down his throat.

"Hey… mommy… that tastes good… what is it?" he snored. Hiei snickered.

"Your… excretion…" Hiei said, in his best "Mommy's voice." Kuwabara grunted and Kurama laughed.

"The red koalas say our work here is finished," Kurama told me. I nodded.

"The pink baboons tell me that also…" Hiei said.

"You have done well, servants of the Pink Baboons and the Red Koalas," I said, kissing each of their foreheads. They grinned.

"TO URAMESHI'S HOUSE!" Kurama and Hiei screamed. They laughed maniacally, and jumped out the window, landing on the ground that was so close to the window, the window might as well not have even been placed there.

**_To Be Continued!_**

Yami: Next chapter, the attack on Yusuke's house!

Kurama: Funny… I don't remember Random Towns Person #4561346841348454652…

Yami: Kurama… That was Random Towns Person #4561346841318564653, and you don't remember much about that night.

Yusuke: WHY ME?

LAter,

Yami Tenchi, Kurama, Hiei, and Yusuke!


	2. Yusuke's House!

Yami: (is crying)

Kurama: What did you do this time, Hiei?

Hiei: Nothing!

Yami: I'M SOOOO HAPPY! I put this up yesterday, and I already have 5 reviews!

Kurama: Oh… good!

Hiei: Jeez. I thought you might have broken up with her, baka kitsune.

Yami: (gasps) Hiei! You weren't supposed to tell anyone!

Kurama: Hahahaha… When did we say we were going out?

Yami: Uh… Internet?

Kurama: Hardy har har…

Yami: Hehehe…

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho… blah blah blah… PINK BABOONS AND RED KOALAS ARE MIIIIIIIIIINEEEEEEEE!

**_Chapter 2!  
_****_Yusuke's Turn!_**

Once again, I followed Hiei and Kurama. They were walking directly under the streetlights like they were spies. I rolled my eyes and followed. They then silently walked up to Yusuke's house and just as silently walked to the door. I knew something was up. Hiei and Kurama raised one arm and then-

"ATSUKO! IT'S 1:05 AND I THINK MY BRAIN IS IN YOUR SON'S ROOM! CAN I GO GET IT?" Kurama screamed. Hiei decided to join the fun by banging on the door. No one answered. I jumped into a tree and saw that Atsuko was asleep in her bed, probably passed out, and Yusuke was asleep in his bed. I jumped back down.

"Those two are in there, just asleep. They sleep like friggin logs…" I told Hiei and Kurama. Hiei grinned maniacally.

"LOGS DON'T SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" he screeched. I laughed and picked the door open for them. They barged right into the house, grabbed the TV, Playstation 2, X-box, GameCube, and the fridge and hauled them up to Yusuke's room. They got the freezer open and pulled out the ice cubes. They sat them on the windowsill to stay somewhat cold. Then, seeing that there was nothing good to eat or any soda to drink, they began. They pulled out all of the vegetables and started chewing them. They spit them into the container for milk (which they poured out the window onto a stray cat while screaming "DRINK UP PUSSY CAT!), and then spit into it. They put the lid back on and then began shaking it. They then waited until it stopped bubbling, and then they did the same thing with the meat, fruit, and anything else that was healthy. Then they shoved it down Yusuke's throat.

"Mom… God… That's good… When did you learn how to cook?" he muttered. Hiei and Kurama just laughed. Then they took mustard, mayo, ketchup, horse radish, orange juice, apple juice, grapefruit juice, grape juice, and spit and poured it all over Yusuke. Then they took Yusuke's desk and went through the drawers. They found a diary and handed it to me. I put it in the bag I had around my waist, and watched them continue their destruction. They tore apart his desk, bed, night stand, and dresser. They first took all of his clothes out of his dresser, and poured all of Atsuko's alcohol on them. Then Hiei burnt them while Kurama used his Rose Whip to break the mirrors and windows. They then turned to his game consoles and television.

They grabbed all of Yusuke's papers and began shoving them in the controller ports of every game console. Then they put about 50 CDs into the GameCube, 2 in the PS2, 4 in the X-box, and they began pouring toilet cleaner on the TV. The game consoles blew up. I turned on the TV to see if it worked.

The TV would never work again. Then Kurama and Hiei burnt Yusuke's desk and danced around the ashes like monkeys celebrating the success of their plan to rule the world using bananas. (AN: Don't laugh. I know they will. Don't forget that! When it happens, don't say I didn't tell you! Back to your regularly scheduled fanfiction. Thank you.) . Then they looked at each other.

"His… hair…" they muttered like zombies. I gave them a pair of tweezers. They started pulling his hair out one by one, and putting it up his nose and in his mouth.

"Keiko… I know you love me, but stop kissing my nose…" Yusuke mumbled. Kurama then did a very good Keiko impression.

"Yusuke, I'm not kissing your nose… I'm not even near you… That's Kuwabara kissing you," Kurama said. Hiei, Kurama, and I left through the window as Yusuke woke up quickly to see his room in shambles. We all laughed underneath his window. Then Hiei and Kurama bowed to me.

"You both did very well, servants of the Pink Baboons and the Red Koalas," I said, once again kissing their foreheads. They laughed and I took them to another grocery store and I paid for them to munch on their treats. Then they exchanged smiles again.

"KEIKO! WE'RE COMING! PLEASE BE READYYYYYYY!" they both screamed at the top of their lungs and ran off to Keiko's house.

**_To Be Continued…_**

Yami: Thank you to all who reviewed.

Hiei: I can't believe you are doing this to us.

Kurama: How do you know about the Pink Baboons and the Red Koalas?

Yami: Well… you two are servants of the Pink Baboons and the Red Koalas, while I am a representative of the Pink Baboon and the Red Koala Treaty of Versailles in 1.

Kurama: O………kaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy then……

Yami: (smiles hugely)

**_Reviewer Responses_**

Crystal Twilight 5: Thank you for being my first reviewer! You must keep an eye open for these stories to come up. GO AHEAD! HERE'S HIEI! (hands Hiei over to you) Huggle all you want! Well… until I finish anyway…

Kiharu-sama: They say "Hank you… pretty lady…" For the candy. Hiei is still on the ground, rolling around in pain. THANKS FOR REVIEWING!

Oni Tenchie: Love ya! Glad you like it! Don't hurt me becauseIforgottocallyouandtellyouTimwashere! I love you!

KaileyHaley: There is Yusuke's suffering! Hope that helps to make up for something! Glad you reviewed!

Liojr400: Here's the next one! I'm so glad you liked it!

Yami: Thanks so much to everyone! I'll update ASAP!

LAter,

Yami Tenchi and the Yu Yu Hakusho gang!


	3. Keiko's House!

Yami: So many people love me!

Hiei: Let's just get the ball rolling!

Kurama: (drives up with a wrecking ball) IT'LL ROLLLLLLLLL!

Yami: Oh dear…

Hiei and Kurama: (mad laughter)

Yami: By the way, this chapter is dedicated to Kiharu-sama, because she helped me to get some ideas. Arigato, Kiharu-chan!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu blah blah blah you get the gist of this crappy thing!

_**Chapter 3**_

_**Keiko Sleeps No Longer!**_

Kurama, Hiei, and I acted like Ace Ventura in his movie, sneaking against her front porch, and jumping onto the wall, even though our feet still touched the ground. Then Kurama used his Rose Whip to allow me and Hiei to get to Keiko's second story window. I climbed up and sat down on a chair. I watched as they went through her drawers first. They took out all of her shirts, and tried them on. Then they tore them to shreds. They did the same to her pants, pajamas, and skirts. Then they went through her desk drawers, looking for any sort of blackmail. They found her diary under her mattress, and handed it to me also. I grinned and put it next to Yusuke's. They saw that Keiko had pictures of Yusuke hanging up directly above where she was sleeping. They grinned and drew a moustache and beard on Yusuke, gave him fuzzy eyebrows, and put an angelic halo over his head. Then Kurama put on some of Keiko's lip gloss, and kissed the place right beside the picture. Hiei wrote in a very neat script, "The Kisser!" next to the lip marks. They grinned.

"Well… well… well…" Kurama said. They went to her head, and gave her a small haircut. They took all of the hair they cut, (which was all but her bangs), and then glued it to her legs. They then went inside her bathroom, grabbed her shampoo, conditioner, liquid soap and shaving cream. I watched as they poured them all together to get a very strange drink. Then they took water from the sink, and added it to the mixture. Kurama began to shake it up. Then they put it next to her empty bottle of shaving cream, and labeled it "TO Keiko FROM Yusuke! It's special shampoo!"

Then they decided to mess with her head. Hiei did a perfect imitation of Yusuke.

"Keiko…" he whispered. Keiko stirred a bit.

"Yusuke?" she whispered back in her sleep. Hiei and Kurama tried not to laugh.

"Yes… I have a confession to make…" Hiei said in Yusuke's voice.

"What?" Keiko whispered, her heart pounding, even in her sleep.

"I… ate… your… mother's second cousin's best friend's fourth cousin's cousin twice removed," Kurama said. Keiko's eyebrow rose in her sleep, and she snored loudly.

"Whatever you say, Yusuke my love…" she said. Hiei and Kurama started to jump on her bed, landing on her sometimes. Finally, Hiei managed to grab hold of the ceiling fan, and Kurama grabbed hold of him. I managed to put the dresser on fire right as both of them fell with the ceiling fan onto Keiko. I grabbed them as Keiko shot awake, and we jumped out the window before she saw us.

"Pink baboons and red koalas are very proud!" I declared, kissing their foreheads. They grinned.

"GENKAI! YOU OR BOTAN IS NEXT!" they screamed, and ran off into the night.

_**To Be Continued…**_

Yami: I put either one of the two, because I have to figure it out still.

Kurama: Can I at least destroy Hiroshima?

Yami: Only if you go back in time to when we (the U.S.) bombed them.

Kurama: YEAH! COME ON HIEI!

**_Reviewer Responses…_**

_AnimeTrekkie:_ You know me! I don't care who wears it! LOL! Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you like my little change!

_Chibi-T: _its Pink _BABOONS, _not pink Babons…

IY: Be nice to him…

Me: Whatever… It's okay though!

_AnimeTrekkie: _Gross… but funny… THAT'S ME!

_Chibi-T:_ Hiei is very glad!

_Crazy Hyper Lady:_ I'm glad you liked it, and please… don't die! That wouldn't be good!

_Kaori Minamino:_ Sorry if I spelled your name wrong! Don't worry… I don't plan on anything too fatal happening! Thanks for the review!

_Jasmemini: _I hope your okay, and please, stay alive! Glad you like it so much!

_Fire-demon-goddess:_ I hope you didn't do this… O.o Glad you like!

_Kiharu-sama: _I dedicated it to you! Genkai or Botan is next! Cya later!

_Youkai: _I'm updating… and evilness is good!

Thanks for all the reviews, and please keep 'em coming!

LAter,

Yami Tenchi, Kurama, and Hiei!


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